A former member recounted their 20-year experience within the Children of God cult, leading to their departure in 1991. The individual joined the cult at age 16, seeking personal meaning. In 1991, the individual was living in a commune in Japan with 200 other members. They reported that daily life, including sleeping arrangements and relationships, was dictated by the commune leader. Members were required to keep diaries for leadership review and were restricted to cult-sanctioned music and films approved by supreme leader David Berg.
By 1991, the individual's faith began to weaken due to doubts about Berg's prophecy of a 1993 world end and perceived unconvincing explanations from Berg for unfulfilled preceding events. Resistance also developed regarding the cult's control over personal life. The cult's doctrine evolved from sexual conservatism to promoting "sexual freedom" and "couple-swapping." The individual's resistance to couple-swapping resulted in a forced separation from their spouse and relocation to a different commune.
The individual also noted a decree issued by Berg in the 1980s that permitted sexual activity between adult cult members and children, which they found horrifying despite not witnessing such acts.
Spiritual turmoil increased after the separation from their spouse and the perceived increasingly twisted nature of Berg's teachings. A turning point occurred when the individual secretly listened to an American armed forces radio station in Japan, a forbidden activity. Hearing R.E.M.'s song "Losing My Religion" significantly impacted the individual. The lyrics "That’s me in the spotlight / Losing my religion" resonated with their internal struggle, and "Every whisper of every waking hour / I’m choosing my confessions" connected with the practice of censored diary entries.
The song, frequently played on the radio, initially caused fear due to the individual's lack of possessions and perceived absence of a life outside the cult. However, it fostered a growing determination to leave. Approximately five months later, the individual escaped the commune in autumn 1991. They subsequently returned to their parents, trained as a lawyer, and have since advocated for children abused by Berg and some of his followers. The individual acknowledged that R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe later clarified the song's original intent was about unrequited love, but noted its profound personal significance in their life.