Jimmy Kimmel Returns to Roast TV Industry at Disney Upfront, Jokes About Trump, Ratings, and AI
Key Details
- Jimmy Kimmel delivered his annual roast of the TV industry at Disney's upfront presentation, marking his return after surviving efforts by President Trump to get his show canceled.
- Kimmel made jokes about his own ABC network bosses, other networks, and industry trends, including streaming and AI.
- The monologue covered competition among networks, Super Bowl plans, and the state of late-night television.
Highlights from the Monologue
"I've been through so much bullshit this year it actually made me appreciate this bullshit."
On his show's survival, Kimmel acknowledged the turbulent political climate that nearly ended his late-night run. He turned the ordeal into self-deprecating humor, noting that even industry nonsense now felt like a welcome relief.
On ABC cancelling shows, he quipped: "Usually in order for ABC to pull you off the air, you have to throw a chair at your Mormon boyfriend."
On ratings, Kimmel offered a brutally honest take on his numbers: "We are up 25 percent among viewers… if Johnny Carson woke up one day with my ratings, he'd have gone straight under the sink and chugged all the Drain-O."
On his cost to Disney, he joked: "It was the worst personnel decision that Disney Corporation has ever made."
On ABC's Super Bowl coverage, Kimmel promised the network would exploit the opportunity: "We are going to milk the bejesus out of it."
On rival networks, he took aim at competitors while acknowledging a rare moment of solidarity: "For the first time, I think ever, I am rooting for CBS."
On NBC's ratings, he questioned the network's bragging rights: "NBC is number one. Are you allowed to brag about being number one when you had the Olympics and the Super Bowl?"
On Fox's Baywatch revival, Kimmel mocked the reboot trend: "This is a reboot for those who watched the first 11 seasons of Baywatch and thought, 'But that can't be the whole story.'"
On ABC's performance, he offered a backhanded compliment: "Except for all the domestic violence, we're doing really great."
On agentic AI, Kimmel took a dark turn into industry fears: "They're going to use llm's and API's to f-you up the ass."