When I Am Sixty-Four: A Friendship, a Loss, and the Genre of Autofiction

Author Debra Adelaide has published a new book titled When I Am Sixty-Four. The work is described as autofiction, a genre that blends autobiography and fiction. It centers on Adelaide's friendship with fellow author Gabrielle Carey, who died by suicide in May 2023 at age 64. The book is structured as a series of vignettes that move back and forth in time and is published by University of Queensland Press (UQP).

"I have invented some things, but I haven't invented anything that's fundamentally contrary to the truth of the story of our friendship, our relationship, her sickness and her death." — Debra Adelaide

Background on the Friendship

Debra Adelaide and Gabrielle Carey met on their first day of high school in the 1970s. Multiple sources report they bonded after missing their bus home and over a shared interest in reading, which they stated made them feel like misfits in their sports-oriented school.

Both women became published authors. Adelaide has published 18 books and teaches creative writing at the University of Technology Sydney. Carey co-wrote the 1979 novel Puberty Blues with Kathy Lette when she was 19. Carey authored several other books, including the memoir In My Father's House.

Carey's father, academic Alex Carey, died by suicide in 1987 on his 64th birthday. Sources note that Carey experienced depression and had expressed concern about reaching the same age. In a 2022 article for the Sydney Morning Herald, Carey wrote about her dread of turning 64.

About the Book and Its Genre

In statements, Adelaide described the book as "based on the real story of my friendship with Gabrielle Carey but shaped with the tools of fiction." She stated she chose the autofiction genre to avoid the constraints of a linear memoir, which allowed her freedom from a strict timeline and exhaustive fact-checking.

A key stylistic choice is that Carey is not named in the book; she is referred to as "my friend." Adelaide stated this approach helped the story feel more universal, relating to others who have experienced depression and suicide.

The book's structure is a series of vignettes. Author Hannah Kent, on ABC Radio National's The Bookshelf, described these vignettes as building "a portrait not just necessarily of a friend, Gabrielle Carey, but also a portrait of a friendship and a portrait of its loss."

Statements from Debra Adelaide

• On the friendship: Adelaide stated, "Losing her was like losing a very close member of my family." She also described their bond as having an intimacy where they "could not speak to each other for months and months and it didn't make any difference at all."
• On Carey's depression: Adelaide used metaphors to describe her friend's state, calling it "an empty well that traps people without a ladder, without so much as a rope" and "the groove of inescapable negativity in which her mind was stuck, and nothing anyone said could dislodge it."
• On the writing process: Adelaide stated that writing the book helped her "arrive at some answers" regarding Carey's suffering and death. She said, "I feel I arrived at some answers … and that has helped me cope with the trauma of this event. But you never really cope; it's a trauma you learn to manage."
• On providing support: Adelaide stated that as Carey's mental health deteriorated, she provided practical support, such as fixing things around Carey's house and accompanying her on walks.

Professional Context and Reception

Adelaide and Carey had a professional relationship in addition to their friendship. Adelaide edited two of Carey's books: In My Father's House and The Borrowed Girl (1994). Both authors contributed to each other's edited collections, though sources note they typically worked independently on their personal writing projects.

The book has been reviewed on ABC Radio National programs. A review by Claire Nichols on The Book Show described When I Am Sixty-Four as "a startlingly bare and beautiful work."