The Rise of Real Life: Why Singles Are Fleeing Dating Apps
In Melbourne, Australia, a new wave of singles is rejecting the digital swipe and embracing face-to-face connection. From live dating shows to packed speed dating events, the search for love is going offline.
A Modern Twist on a Classic Format
Lilian James, 23, recently participated in Human Love Quest, a live dating show in Melbourne that updates the 1960s television program The Dating Game. In this format, three contestants ask questions to a single bachelor or bachelorette—without ever seeing them.
"Dating apps have always been part of this scene... No-one wants to be up at the altar and say, 'Oh, I knew you were the one when I liked you on Hinge.' Everyone wants to meet their partner in person."
The event is hosted by Conor Gallacher and Xander Allan, who launched it after the COVID-19 pandemic. They report that attendees frequently express frustration with dating apps.
"Sometimes it works out pretty well, other times it doesn't," Gallacher said. Allan added: "People are coming up to us and saying that they're so sick of the apps."
Speed Dating Sees a Revival
At a separate speed dating event in Melbourne organized by Crush Club, hundreds of singles gathered. A straight event earlier in the week attracted 350 attendees with a waitlist of over 1,500 people, and a queer event drew 260 participants.
Izzy Burns, founder of Crush Club, began organizing events in late 2024. She notes that while speed dating was once seen as "uncool," that perception is shifting.
"Guys are now starting to get sick of the dating apps too."
Attendees like Janvi Kumar, 26, are attending for the social experience: "I just love meeting people. If it's friends, if it's more, if it's nothing and I just have a really fun night and have at least one interesting conversation, I'm really happy."
Ian Herd, 59, attended his first speed dating event after using dating apps for a decade—and before that, personal ads in magazines.
The "McDonaldisation" of Dating
According to Mathieu Lajante of Toronto Metropolitan University, dating apps are designed for corporate metrics, not human connection.
"Dating apps are primarily designed to maximise user interaction, time spent in the app, and the accumulation of consumer data... The result is the 'McDonaldisation of dating' — efficiency, predictability, and control, at the cost of everything that actually makes human connection work."
Raffaele Ciriello of the University of Sydney agrees: "The real question is not whether we should make dating more efficient, but whether that is the end goal. These companies make money from user retention and engagement — not from meaningful relationships."
User Fatigue Is Real
The data backs up the anecdotal frustration. Match Group, owner of Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid, lost 704,000 net paying subscribers in 2024. Bumble shares fell nearly 95% since the pandemic.
A 2024 Forbes survey of 1,000 US residents found that 78% reported emotional, physical, or mental exhaustion from dating apps.
Katie Stewart, 38, initiated a six-month hiatus from dating apps starting on Valentine's Day.
"It's refreshing not to go back to that dopamine hit from the swiping... The apps are going in a fairly poor direction — the way they're structured these days and how they monetise the user experience has just gotten so much worse."
The Human Touch Takes Work
Holly Bartter runs a business called Matchsmith, where she swipes for clients and manages early conversations. Her clients come to her specifically due to "swipe fatigue."
"Most people come to me feeling what I call swipe fatigue — they're over it. Many clients will still prefer that human touch."
Soujanya Datta, who grew up in India, has successfully set up three couples among her friends. She contrasts the experience with apps.
"A friend's recommendation feels more intentional and a bit more human. Apps are great for access — but they're quite transactional."
Psychologist Carly Dober warns of the pitfalls of digital courtship: "Texting or chatting online too long can lead people to romanticise someone — our answers can be perfectly curated when we have time to craft them."
The Future: AI Assistants?
Meanwhile, some dating platforms are integrating artificial intelligence. Bumble announced plans for an AI assistant called Bee that would communicate with other users' AI to determine compatibility. Match Group has stated its goal to become an "AI-native company."